थे मुन्चाब्लेस!!!

It's probably the best trailer ever. The music is fucking amazing. The vegetable monster guys are awesome. The gameplay looks like a mix between Cubivore and Super Monkey Ball. AND THERE ARE ANIMAL THINGS:

Oldboy Remake News Worse Than Remake's Existence

In keeping with the tradition of ruining great things, Hollywood has decided (collectively) that Steven Spielberg, Will Smith, and Mark Protosevich are going to work on the Oldboy remake. We all sighed when we found out that Oldboy was going to experience an American take, but this is just unacceptable. Asian movies, except for the really bad ones, don't need remakes. Some people might say, "Hey, but The Departed was good and that was based off of an Asian gangster movie!!!" Yeah. It was. Martin Scorsese, Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, Mark Wahlberg, Ray Winstone, and Howard Shore were involved. Oldboy's remake (or WillSmithBoy) will most likely be incredibly horrible. Why? Steven Spielberg, Will Smith, and Mark Protosevich are involved. And in case you don't know who that last guy is, he wrote the bad Posiedon remake, the screenplay for I Am Legend (which was apparently bad if you read the book, like most loved things), and that 'thing' starring Jennifer Lopez and Vince Vaughn. Plus, his Wikipedia page is so bare, he's not even worth mentioning in a dinner table conversation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Protosevich)

First. you tell Michael Bay to direct Transformers (produced by Spielberg). Then, you enlist Zack Snyder to direct Watchmen. And now this? I feel like the only thing you did right was let a bunch of British people handle the new Batman movies. Hollywood, you suck.

(http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3ia94c7ef2006ea33dd825ab227fcd02fb)

Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe Trailer Edited By A Funny Guy

I can't believe this exists. After watching this trailer, I am convinced that I should go out and rent this game. I originally was planning on avoiding it at all costs. But, this trailer is too ridiculous to not make you want to play this game for the dialogue. One word summary: MAGIC!?!?!?

Little or Big Disappointment?

So, I've been playing LittleBigPlanet, the PS3 exclusive that will put PSN on the map (geography!!!) and save Sony from this economic black hole (vacuuming!!!). That's what it's supposed to do, anyway. It's just too bad it's not good. But, it's not bad, either.

To explain prior statements, LittleBigPlanet is composed of three fundamental elements: play, create, and share. Included in all areas of the game is the adorable mutant doll called Sackboy. The game is essentially based on kindergarten values. However, in this kindergarten, the teacher is Stephen Fry (that means he narrates the game...which he does).

The gameplay is okay. It's a side-scrolling platformer that uses three planes on the x-axis instead of one. The three planes (foreground, midground, and background) are kind of unnecessary and the switching between them is incredibly awkward. The game often changes your position with respect to the ground in midair. Sometimes the game is wrong, resulting in inconvenience and frustration, albeit minor. It's a system that works...but in the way that a retarded person works. Stuff gets done. But, it's just retarded.

The level creation is arguably the reason this game was so hyped in the first place. It's actually well deserved, as the system is easy-to-use, intuitive, efficient, quick, flexible, and generally allows for broad creativity. Of course, there are limitations with it that have personally turned me off just a tad: You have to use their music and, while I'm a big fan of The Go! Team, there just isn't enough range in the music to fit all the moods that a level may have. There isn't a photo import option. All pictures must be taken by the Playstation Eye, a positively received peripheral, but a peripheral nonetheless. There aren't too many backgrounds for each level, resulting in many levels looking very similar. But, these are minor issues (or LittleBigIssues?) and should be taken with salt grains depending on how much you weigh music and backgrounds in the importance of a 'fun level.'

The user-created levels are probably going to be where you spend most of your LittleBigTime (you can do it with any noun ever). That is unless you're unfortunate and miserable and lacking an internet connection. But, who would read blogs or know what video games are without an internet connection, anyway? Seriously, the LittleBigPlanet online community is somewhat organized. It's just that sometimes the server acts like a big pile of dung and decides to be incredibly slow. I feel like everything would be smoother if they gave an option to use traditional menus instead of using a planet (LittleBigPlanet!!!) as the gaming portal where you'll find all the levels you'd ever want ever (except for those that infringe copyrights and whatnot). It is here where you can play friends' levels, strangers' levels, and frengers' levels while hooking up with friends, strangers, frengers, or no one. The whole setup of the online component reminds me way too much of Youtube, whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. There's the level, there are tags for it, there's a feedback board. It's pretty much Youtube where the videos are user-created videos and the Youtube users are gamers (kinda sorta the same thing). It's somewhat efficient, though I'd prefer normal menus instead of the animated style because I'm a total prick.

The final verdict is riddled with ambiguity. On one hand, you have a product that represents the next step in gaming evolution and finally brings a decent (in this case, great) level designer to current generation consoles. On the other hand, you have a game that is flawed in the areas that make it a game, but great in the additions to it. I'm not saying that LittleBigPlanet is Superman 64 with the option for user-generated content. I'm saying that there are a few gameplay issues that stand out and detract from the motivation to create levels. Remember: You're creating levels for a game, not the game. However, this is a game that must be supported if we want to see any others like it, even if it's not as fun as it could be.

Commence Blog

Finally, what everyone has been waiting for: a brand new blog!!! This opening entry will serve as a warning (too much fun) as to what will happen next in this world of blogness. I plan to cover anything that I deem useful or useless and anything in between. My interests in film, music, gaming, literature, comics, food, conspiracy theories, and ridiculously stupid people will most likely dominate. However, if you're a big fan of boring things like geography or vacuuming or statues, don't fret. I will try to cover everything. Ever.

So, come back once in a while to catch up with this fellow and what he thinks of things he knows.